Letter to my younger self by Tanmayee Deshmukh

Tanmayee Deshmukh

My dear youth,

                I am sorry that I was unable to keep up with you lately but I take this opportunity to appreciate your journey from a bubbly heartbroken girl to a wiser woman. Know that I am very proud of you. The prevalence of your struggles throughout your life's journey which you had endured were no less than predicaments. 

               Since childhood, you were a free bird with many dreams, having control of everything. Things were given to you on a platter, but as you grew, things started getting haywire. Unfortunately, people were watching your every move and unknowingly seized control over you. Subsequently, things went chaotic. You were used, abused, tormented and thrown under a bus. Every relationship, be it a friend, a lover or your loved ones, laid a path of fire for you to walk on. Nobody cared for your pain and tears. What you had been through and were going through, not a single soul cared. Your life was a tug-of-war. Every night with silent tears you prayed to get out of this misery, but with no path lit, self-harm was on your list. The light in you dimmed each day. Strangers noticed but no one dared. Your glowing smile drowned with a whimper. As you thought the road to end you found a bridge and crossed over it. The light in you ignited once again. Little did you know the bridge was a mirage, you found yourself in the pits of darkness once again. The storm came on and flooded your life with plight.

               In your adulthood, body shame, and verbal abuse, were the ones who shattered you. Every dress you wore made you feel unattractive. Sulking in the misery you accepted your fate to be as is. One day amid the storm, you found a rainbow. With tiny little feet, a cute button nose and those bright big eyes, you found your anchor. Your hope was lost, but your child gave you a cause to love once again. Along with your child came another hope in the form of tiny birds called ‘Friends’. Gradually, you could see your life’s path. With morale boosted and the courage of an army, you fought your battles with great ease. You stood against those who made you broke. 

               So my dear self, put on that smile, life is too short to dwell in the mine. When life puts you at the bottom, get up on your feet, dust away the dirt and smile brightly. Invest in yourself, and happiness will follow, let the firefly guide you where ever you go. Cherish the moments you spend with yourself cause my darling self you will find me everywhere. 

Yours truly,

Wiser self.

About the Author 

"Tanmayee Deshmukh is an avid reader and writer who resides in Pune, India and  is known for her debut romance novel, ""Living a Dream."" She wears many hats, including those of a mom, a chocolatier, and a writer."